i'm not one to air the dirtiest of laundries in public but I've not been blogging that much and i think that this will make an interesting read to all those out there!
Enjoy!

preface: A bit of an uneasy altercation going on in the home between the sis and mum. The Nosey Aunts, being their usual kaypoh selves, are getting involved. So here was my letter to tell them to take a couple of steps back, albeit in a nice nice way.
There's always been a little bit of history betweeny my mum and sis. i think that's usually the case between families with only two women in the household. Anyway the dust has settled and all is well, for now that is. Family... what else can you do but love?

=)

xxx

Maybe i wasn't clear when i said please don't get involved auntie pauline and auntie gina because i guess i just simply wasn't very clear.

It wasnt my intention to be hostile or immature but i guess if it came out that way then i'm sorry and i apologize.

The main point is, I know the two of you have the heartiest of intentions but as family history goes we all know that it's usually the ones who get involved that somehow causes things to be exacerbated by too much attention and involvement. It's not entirely based on the people who get themselves stuck in, no, of course not, but just like how a Performer will always need an audience, a family dispute will always end up in "side taking''.



Why?
because other family members CARE and try to get involved.

What happens here?
well the two disputing parties will be in a mindset of "competition", "competing" with one another. Symphaty, side taking, whoever will listen to their story and think that what they are doing is the right thing, garnering for support if you will.

All this done subconciously, all this done in a very NATURAL way. Nature intended for this to happen.

That's exactly what's going on with our family.
I hear Pam talking to either one of you dearest aunties' every night, and that's her way of "ganering support".

Mummy's emails are extremely distasteful and in a severe lack of tact but that's her way of expressing her feelings and emotions. and again, that's her own way of "garnering support". (which i must say is pretty impressive, she just goes no holds barred and emails the world haha if she had a chance she will post it on facebook!)

What made the point drive itself ever so heavily into my heart was that night after I brought mummy and Wei Loong's mother (which i must say after an initial difficult settling in moment has turned out to be a wonderfully delightful lady. She reads situations extremely well and is, by far and large, an extremely decent individual; mature, caring, and diplomatic.

Her yong tau fu is fantastic, and in the short time that she has been here thus far, has seen through me and knows me pretty well. Sadly the same cannot be said of my very own maternal cognates.)The words that radiated from those lips on that very night still rings ever so soundly in the canals of my auditory senses.

Translated from chinese: "your house problem is okay one, every house will have this kind of problem. just that when your aunties all try to get involved ah, make everything explode."

My point is, the two of them must be burning inside, with anger no doubt, but emotionally my god how shitty must they feel, can you imagine?

Mummy loves the baby, she loves kids and toddlers, and for as much as i know, deep inside she must love pam too. Back in the old days, when i was in secondary school (2001-2003), I remember fondly how Mummy and Pam used to have the longest talks with one another up in the master bedroom. Although I was a bit jealous because they spent so much time together, I was actually really happy as well.

For the first time in a long time, mummy and pam were as close as you can be.
Mummy cooked soups for Pam almost every other day, and Pam actually looked at mummy with a sparkle in the eye.

Remember how they fought and scowled at one another just under 10months ago in the year 2000?

not many will, but i have a vivid memory and i remember very clearly.
(mummy split up with my dad and we had to move out because the house was being rented out to an indian family. I went apartment to apartment with mummy, and we looked out for houses to rent. Pam thought mummy didnt care and just wanted to look for a house for just herself and me.. she was so livid and cross that there was no consoling her, she wrote stuff in her diary that was so vile (trust me i know, as a little priving brother i've read ALL her diaries hahaha).

but how did i know that mummy really cared? well, I went with her to visit many different houses when she split up with my dad, we went to simpang bedok, marine parade, upper east coast, but it was this one particular apartment at Sennet that made me realize what a caring mother she was beneath that brash unnerving facade... we went to see this particular house and it was perfect! Location was great, there were convenience stalls downstairs, it was fairly new and everything looked to be in tip top showroom condition. but when we were told there was only two rooms, mummy said immediately: "aiyah such a waste, cannot cannot, no space for my other two children." that touched my heart completely, maybe i should tell this story to pam.
Mummy wanted to test them, told roy to move back with his father and told pam to move to telok kurau.

we all know now what her TRUE INTENTIONS were. she cares. trust me. you know i know, despite the fighting now, she cares, pam should know this.

anyway, thing is, we moved in to that cosy little place at marine parade in the year 2000, with roy having his own room and pam staying with me. Pam wasn't happy of course not having her own room and having to bunk with an overweight obese vile teenager like myself and she cultivated her own form of hatred in her heart towards mummy but with time comes redemption. and like i said, 10 months on they were the best of pals mother and daughter again)

as for Pam, well, she can go around all she want proclaiming how her mother never loved her as much as she did her other two children, but again, that's mummy's way of living life and raising children. Roy and I, we needed the most help from the day we were born. Pam is independent, smart, ambitious, vivacious, and extremely shrewed-how else did she get Wei Loong (i have so many things to say about him but of course this is not the time) to marry her (but i must say she has absolutely zero smarts when it comes to the simpler things in life- ive seen her struggle to come to terms with the simplistic operations of a microwave and a hot water dispenser! haha)
back to where i was, Pam never needed much help from mummy.

Ask her if she has been caned before? once? twice? none at all?

Roy and I have seen the longer end of the rotan more times than we can ever imagine.
Pam was booksmart, she did her homework, stayed in school, didnt argue back, and knew what to do when the shit hit the fan. STUDY. she was close to the perfect child.
but it's the most perfect of children that have the heaviest of hearts. they never get the attention from the parents that they truly crave.

I have kids in my Church who have like 9 A1s. NINE. and yet they are sad and depressed, because the parents just dont give them any attention, the parents think their child is doing well and leaves them alone.

Mummy has this need to "make up" for her apparent actions by showering the "victim" with overtly over the top love and affection. after hitting roy and me, she will try to show us love and affection ten fold.

Pam has never done anything bad in her young life to warrant such a response. so maybe her being studious and perfect wasnt really the best path after all in terms of affectionate care.
but she has done well in other areas.

i guess what i am trying to say at the end of it all, is simple really.

Mummy and Pam have been fighting for so long now, and it was shoved under the carpet when Pam got married and subsequently gave birth. Their brand of homogenous harmony was based on a mortar of pretense and it was a matter of time before everything got blown out of its hinges.
Maybe they need this. I think they really do.
ONE MASSIVE BIG ARGUEMENT to settle it once and for all.

yes she is your Sister, yes she is your Niece, but together they are mother and daughter and they will find a way to work this out. they don't need any more "supporters", that's what uncle Bunny and Weiloong is there for in the first place for mummy and pam respectively. kinship is such a bitch!

Most people go into situations and events such as this but always somehow end up blowing things out of proportion. your intentions are saintly and good, but maybe not in the best frame of mind. Let them be and ignore them, they will come to their senses. I will try and do my part.

(This was written by Jerald Justin, Bits of which were taken from Introduction to Anthropology 101 and Family in Anthropology since 1980, see, University wasn't such a waste of time after all!)

take care and be good.

Yours most Sincerely,

Jerald Justin Ko

Misses Perth, the Friends and Memories in Perth.

everything in life happens for a reason.


yes. that line is perhaps most possibly the most verifiably TRUE. and least from my point of view and experiences it most certainly is.


Everything. From the tiniest most minute of details to the large and catastrophic. They all happen for a reason. Might be fair and yet unfair, but a reason is a reason nontheless, a reason is reason regardless.


I almost died last week. Well from where i was lying I really thought I was on the verge.

I had food poisoning, intense food poisoning might i add. Relentless Diarrhea, uninduced and uncontrollable vomiting, and just to top it all off I also had a severely high fever of 38.5 degrees. My body was achey and weak all over, as in literally lifeless and in pain. I couldnt move without feeling like I had just been hit by a train.


Now what's the reason for this?

I had prepared and cooked a barbeque for the church kids and no one got sick. NO ONE. except for me of course. which didnt make sense, because everyone ate everything, and so did I.


My point being is, well, I got sick, really really sick, and there she was. She came to visit me, every single day, trying her very best to nurse me back to health. And i did get better, albeit in stubborn fashion, and lo and behold she got sick.. because of me.

This sickness and "near death experience" (haha i know im being over the top here) showed me a side of her that i have never dreamed of witnessing, let alone experience first hand.

The caring, sweet, gentle, loving, selfless side (+naggy and domineering haha).

And it showed.

It really did.

Things in life happen for a reason.
And the reason was you.


xxx


along the very same lines, I guess you could say many other things that have happened in this very past year- some really terrible- all have their long term reasons.


(1) Tore my ACL. this was perhaps the most physically and mentally painful thing in the life that i could possibly have experienced. And it has changed my life. Completely might i add, in so many different facets and ways.

I love soccer. so so much. and now i'm watching from the sidelines. and it hurts no doubt, mentally and emotionally, wondering if i'll ever be able to play again.. let alone run.. but this injury has put a spotlight on other parts of my life. and it's pretty obvious how things have changed.


If i didnt go for the surgery, my eyes, in a metaphorical sense, would not have opened in a way that it has with regards to life and the people around me. Things that have happened might not have happened, things that did not happen might have happened. these facts are a tad personal and way too many lives are involved for me to just air them out and i will leave it at that. for the greater good i think getting that acl tear really sparked a positive change in my life, one that has made me a wiser, better, stronger, more mature individual.


If i wasn't injured- i would be at work, lugging myself to camp every single day. I would never have had the opportunity to meet her. Never would have possessed the time or ability to make that first step. She would never have been there for me like she has been, and I would never have been there for her like i have been. Things would be different. and between you and me... i thank god things are just the way they are right now.
then again, looking at recent events. There are some things in life I certainly have no explanation or reason for.

Scrutinizing it further, I guess I am dissapointed a great deal. Not just with him. No. Rather with everyone else involved. oh wait, let me rephrase, with everyone else and their lack of involvement in resolving the situation and letting their true feelings be known. I've been made the goat and no one seems to want to step in and take me out of the shit. They would rather keep quiet and push things aside and allow him to sit in his little dreamy fantasy world then speak what's on their mind.
perhaps this really is for the greater good.
well we never will know, if things remain as they are.
the greater good.
that's what life is all about.
isn't it?

xxx

(2) Sister came back to give birth in Singapore instead of KL. - well, what can i say? Six words should sum it up perfetly. An Inconvenient albeit Great Learning Experience.

I'm going to be straightfoward, mean, and brazenly frank and honest.

My sister's mother-in-law is overall a decent woman. BUT...

(a) she cooks as if she's running a hundred seater restaurant everyday. and her cooking needs some getting used to. (it tastes terrible.)

(b) she is overprotective of the baby and extremely stubborn. the baby has been in distress on various occassions and yet she refuses to budge from her traditional MALAYSIAN ways and consistently insists that she is correct. examples...

(i) baby needs to be burped- it's clear, it's obvious, it's so FUCKING blatant. and she says, no need to burp, it's okay one. Made me rush to the hospital like some fool, driving at 170km/h in the process, and turns out that yes the doctor says the baby needs to be burped.

(ii) baby needs powder/rash cream- again it's obvious, baby is in pain, there's rad rashes all over the bum, and YET, lo and behold, she says no need, it's not healthy to put baby powder. We go to the doctor and hey, doctor says you must put baby powder and cream.

(iii) i could go on and on and on but i really dont want my readers to think that i have transformed into this maniac maternally driven nutcase hahaha. because maybe i am lol

anyway, like i was saying, having little baby Adrea around has thought me lots of things. life changing things.
i now know how to- burp a baby, bath her, clean her when she shits/pees, cradle her, change her diapers, help her put on her clothes, feed her, clean her vomit, change her sleeping position, stop her crying, massage her, rock her to sleep, and basically most of the important stuff. lol. all i need to do now is to grow a pair of breasts and start lactating!

i really enjoy singing her michael learns to rock songs hahaha i know it's strange but she always seems to open up her eyes really really huge and stare straight into mine whenever i sing complicated heart.

her limbs, my gawd, they're so lanky! she's going to be so much taller than me! the making of a tall pretty girl. im going to be the uncle of a super hot model hahaha

and i've been whispering BOOMZ into her ear everyday, i want those to be her first words! hahaha totally going to piss my sister off. that's the kind of uncle i want to be.

revered and adored by my niece, hated by her parents- always buying her toys and taking her out! super spoiler.

=)

this is the song i sing to her whenever i get the chance.

mltr- complicated heart.

Meet The Tans!


Okay...
so today was meet the parents day...
and it actually went pretty well in my opinion.
They were cool and didnt really point a shotgun at me or tie me to an electric chair.
So i'm fine.

=)


To be honest.
To be totallllyyy honest.
I was really quite nervous actually...
before stepping into the house.
did the good boy hair cut and wore an ironed shirt and jeans.


When i went in and saw her dad on the couch I was literally shaking...
is he going to be stern? will he just sit there and grunt? will he give me the killer stare?
But to my surprise he stood up straight away with a humongous smile on his face and said a pretty friendly "HARLOW!"


Phewwww...


Went into the kitchen and her mum was preparing a home cooked meal - menu specially chosen by Tan Hui Min. ;)


Passed her a small gift and her smile was welcoming and sincere.


So off i went into the living room and had a talk with her father, and like all grown men do, we talked about football.
I knew instantaneously then we could hit it off when the words came out of my mouth "so i hear you're a liverpool fan" and saw his face light up like the fireworks on new years eve...


gosh just imagine, a home full of people and none of them to share his passion for football with.

And so we chatted and it was awesome. He told me about his glory days as a CENTRE HALF, playing in the kampung, being a mischievous "pai kia" and his love for Liverpool.

How things could have been so very different had United won yesterday night eh?

I guess the loss was truly a blessing in disguise, for the long run at least... we all know that United are going to be Premiership Champions and the Liverpundians in 5th ;)


Gosh i guess i really found an entry point here. I mean imagine if i was in his position.. Loves Football like crazy- got married- moved into my own home- had first child- GIRL... second child- GIRL... third child- GIRL...
Okay maybe i can psycho the children into watching soccer...
I'm not sure if he tried, but it didn't work out judging from their reaction to football- especially my dearest ELLIE! hehehe but at least she comes for the games even though im not playing- good girl =)

so i guess here's where i come in, albeit in controversial fashion - what with me supporting manchester united all... not only does he support liverpool- he is an ABU... anything but United Fan.. an Anti-Red Devils infantry soldier! hahaha


Maybe it's just a psychological thing.. but it's scary how much he seems to resemble my dad in terms of behaviour...
He had funny nicknames for people- and some were what my dad used to use as well.
His taste in songs were exactly like my dad's!
They both worked in the Shipping Industry.
They talk the same way- loud and yet friendly.
so very surreal i tell you...
but yeah things went well today and i am hoping for more in the future...


not going to elaborate much further on what we did but all I can say is that I had a good sumptous meal and a really heart warming time.

It's been like... ages since I've had a sit down dinner with a real family.
And friends who know me will understand and emphatize for sure...
I love all things family. It's heart warming and it's one of the most real things in the world you can really categorize as true.

And yes all families argue and quarrel and have their disagreements.

But family will always be family.
And I found her's to be really down to earth and fun.


=)


YAYNESS!

Singapore Cleo Magazine November Issue.

Page 112.

sent to me by a good friend who also has similar issues but- like many others- refuses to speak out due to supposed friendship relations and politics.

i have gone down the road and been branded the goat. there's no turning back.

oh well.

Have a good read.

11 Oct 2009 ... Pope Canonizes 5, Including Priest Damien de Veuster, who helped Patients with Hansen's Disease (HD), also known as Leprosy. in Hawaii in 1800s.

This Mission Sunday 2009, let's all work hard to spread the word, and maybe one day, who knows... with the right amount of effort, dedication, along with the purest of hearts, even you might become a Saint.

God bless

=)

It was a night of great fun and frightening scares @ the Night Safari Halloween Horrors Special.

I would genuinely and wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone out there, that's just a small measure as to how awesome the night really was.

The very last time I went to something "horror" themed was way back in 2005, and boy, was it downright flatly anti-climatic... as Siva would testify. hahaha

Perth Royal Show Haunted Mansion : Disappointment...

At first i heard lots of ear piercing screams so i thought, whoa must be solid, and somehow managed to convince the bald anaconda to pay AUD$17 for this silly cramped tram ride for two... up a slope we went and through some bends, and then down a corner out came this pimply faced teenager wearing a black t shirt and jeans, probably overpaid and overfed, and he let out a rather nonchalent sounding "BOO!" and i looked at siva and siva looked at me, and we just said to each other rather dejectedly in unison, "Whoalao Eh... waste money"

Fast Foward four years down and you could say that the HORRORS really got amplified and the experiences and screams shared totally justified the price that one had to fork out- a wallet churning 35bucks each. (consists of admission to the park, train of terror, and the spooky blood curlingly bridge of no return enclosure- lots of ghosts lurking everywhere) plus this time round there was someone next to me to actually scream out in fear and grab my hand whenever she got scared (read:all the time) ... haha "ahem ahem" okay la i was pretty ball-less at times too laaaa hahahaha... I let her walk in front first during the Bridge of No Return part and made her stand next to all the monsters to take photos... hahaha

The atmosphere and ambience was just so very carnival like- completely loved it! You know how i usually totally hate crowds and jams (be it traffic or human) but it was so buzzingly fun fair-esque that one just couldn't help but revel and lush up along with the festivities. There were sporadic chilly screams every few seconds from every possible corner- and those were REAL GENUINE screams... from women to young girls, teenage girls, children, boys, and even some grown up adult men... so fun!!! The "monsters" were jumping out and scaring people with actual EFFORT, and that was fun to watch, and of course, experience as well.

Dressed up actors and actresses with great makeup densely populated themselves all around the park, from the entrance to the trails and what not.

the visitors were from a diverse demographic- comprising of young angmo kids dressed up to thier halloween nines, indian tourists(there was one woman who really didnt look out of place- she was wearing a black sari with a blood red draping, and she was carrying a baby wrapped in red cloth!), Japanese Tourists(loads of hilarious screams from the japanese women), families, etc...

anyway, here are some photographs!

lungs!

lie somemore laa LIE LIE LIE!

deadly ice cream!

fat clown

Welcome to Halloween Horrors!

the Bridge of No Return!

BOOOO!!!

haha this guy was actually quite funny looking..

since i was a kid i've always hated chiang-ses!!! hahahaha spooky

ARRGHHHHHH!!!!

Killer Clown

eyebrows!

two emo girls...


Cinderella

super freaky dim sum woman!!!

check out the hand from the cart!

new dim sum dish.

here are photos i got from online sources..

Snow White

fish? anyone?

little red riding hood

beauty and the beast's the Beast!

pontianak!

chiobu ghost hahaha

freaky!

Long Tongue Ghost (Ellie: Like jeraldjustin!) ;)

Mummified!

the Butcher from the Train of Terror Ride

mummy jumping out of the bushes to scare the tourists!

Even chinese ghosts scare indians!

xxx

Then there was the Train of Terror...

The Train of Terror is basically the normal Night Safari Ride except that it lasts 45minutes instead of the normal 30 minutes, and that's because the last 15 minutes brings you into the deep bellows of "Neverland", the Halloween Horrors enclosure of the Night Safari. The train ride really only picks up during the last 15 minutes, and that's when it makes its way into the creepy hallowed gates neverland, with heaps of smoke/fog swirling in the air, blood on the floor, and bodies everywhere.. and it was soooo fun..

there were "pontianaks, vampires, chiang ses, bloody butchersm etc etc" lurking behind every friggin corner and bush and little shrub and tree and even on the floor... and then AAARRGGHHHHHHHHH they would just jump out and scream at you... and then at times they would even chase and holler at the train and come face to face just centimetres away from the passenger's faces hahaha so fun so fun so fun... there were coffins, tombstones, mutilated bodies, and just heaps of freaky stuff over at "neverland"... so freaky and yet so enjoyable. very disturbing hahaha

Mind you there were lots of other "scary" and super shockingly ARRGGGGHHHHHHH moments on the train of terror @ the cursed "Neverland"... but i don't have any personal photographs due to the NO FLASH rule today... don't know why because this rule wasn't applicable to neverland according to the newspapers... guess the actors' eyes were all damaged from the excessive use of flash haha

oh well here's a video i got online anyway.

you can just feel the atmosphere... all the screaming girls hahaha

can't wait to go for Sentosa's own Halloween Special- the Images of Singapore Spooktacular!!!

it's basically a Wax Muesuem... where the Wax models COME TO LIFE!!!

=)))

there's really nothing like scaring yourself silly and then just laughing all about it once the heartbeat goes back to normal hahahaha ...

awesome night, lovely girl, a very happy boy.

beach