to ms. amanda teh

and on a totally unrelated topic, YES, i do realize that i have not been the BASTARD i need to be in order to succeed in certain areas of my rather pathetic life thus far...
and yet...

i do have to stress this rather impeccable point...
that i am not bothered in any sense by my current state of mind...

i am...
how do you say?
USED to this?
not... that is not the word or description to fittingly box myself into...
i am...
rather...
aware...
and very much concious... of my inhibitions, and what i truly am capable and deserving of...
and do trust me, it isn't much...

so please don't judge me for my lack of ambition in certain sectors of my living life, for there are reasons, and i am just attempting to be as mature and responsible as i truly can...
then again...
all i have just typed is seemingly bullshit isn't it?
it's 5am in the morning and i just am lacking in proper "thinking fuel"...
yet! some might say this is when one is must truthful!~ when we subliminally expose elements of ourselves that we do not desire to reveal...
oh my word, how philosophical as this post become... it is nothing short of... yes, bullshit.

What would you do if you’re only 19 years old…
Still busy studying…
Still attempting to plan a path in life…
Yet to embark on your National Service;
And suddenly, you get an Ang Mo girl pregnant…
What would you do?

Why… marry her of course!

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At least, well, at least that’s what my good old primary school friend Rajiv did…
I still remember the old days… my goodness it was no less than a few years ago, no more than seven, eight years ago, where we used to do TAF club together… every recess at 10.30am and every Saturday morning at 8.30am… Leonard Wee, Sean Foo, Cornelius, Ian, Tat Huang, Edward Tjarkartikata (I still remember his gawd damn surname!) and a whole bunch of us overweight fellas. From the Tuckshop all the way to the Fitness Corner, we had to run our fats out… well it was more like a relak-jack stroll for us, talking about the cartoons on TV (Beast Wars was everyone’s favourite during that time), challenging each other to Digimon battles, and all wanting to emulate David Beckham… we’d only attempt to switch on our toes and run when Mr Thompson, the fiercest and most scariest AngMo teacher in Singapore started yelling at us.

“YOU BLOODY LAZY BABOONS!”

Well, well, well… how time has changed all of us… remarkably.
We’ve embarked on pretty diverse journeys… some of us in Poly, some of us overseas, some of us in the Army, some of us bumming around… and, well, who would have thought at such an early age… but… ONE of us… a married man, a FATHER…

How many can actually get to say this…
“When my kid turns 20 years old, I’m won’t even be in my FORTIES!”

So some of us reading this blog might not find this a big deal, having friends who are already fathers…
But I’m sure that your “friends” are already way into their maturity right? Having already been through NS, completed whatever level of education they were after, and of course, hitting that magical age of 21 (being able to vote and watch RA movies haha).
Rajiv, on the other hand… well I’ve already given a mini biography up there… I have to stress that he, like me, is only 19… I guess that’s really the only similarity we both share, our age that is…
He is way braver than I can ever, ever, stress…

Seriously though… it really isn’t a case for any of us to judge, even though we very much have, and by gawd, have we judged or what?
All the Multiple Conference Conversations on MSN… gossiping, bitching, and being bad people…
I mean it’s just that we’ve never been in such a scenario before, and all I can say is that Rajiv is a lucky man...
In the sense that it’s absolutely fantastic that he has a supportive, and most importantly of course (in such scenarios) a financially abundant, family… one who paid for a wedding in a 5 star hotel with goodness knows how many tables!

He is lucky to have a beautiful woman willing to be his wife at an age where she still has much to explore in life… he is, do I dare say, EXTREMELY LUCKY to not have a father-in-law dying to rip his balls off… and he is luckiest of all, in having this opportunity, this god given gift, of bringing a child into this world… (WITH ARMS WIDDDE OPEEEN)

And he is a brave man of course… yes I am using the word man, not boy… an extremely brave man… to take this gorgeous lady’s hand in marriage, even at such a young age…
His whole life is going to change… boy is it going to change…

I have not seen him for well over, eight? Nine years?
It doesn’t matter really, because I WILL attempt to see him…
And when I do, I’m going to shake his hand, give him a big gynormous hug, and make a silly funny face at his cute little baby!

Heartiest Congrats to my TAF CLUB buddy and his gorgeous wife Maddie!